The other day at a Starbucks on Cape Cod my colleague Dave seemed distracted. “I’m sorry, I just can’t take my eyes of this group of kids.” Four boys who I’d guess were between the ages of 14 and 16 sat facing each other - their high end laptops open to separate gaming or Internet sites. 45 minutes later when Dave and I got up to leave they were still locked in this activity. As far as I could observe they hadn’t spoken a word to each other.

Did they miss the adorable girls who had walked right past them in bum skimming cut-offs to order iced lattes? They tapped on the keyboard, and didn’t discuss it but they also had cell phones out so my guess is they were also texting. To a baby boomer, this is- different. If you came of age when computers were the size of a football field, you lived life out loud. You spent summers sharing french fries and cokes at the snack bar and talking about - what else - boys and girls. To ask a girl on a date you had to pick up the telephone. Today, you would text her. ”What r u doing 2-nite?”

I call these - “lap-versations.”

“Lap-versations are the conversations taking place electronically - right under your nose. With this generation, it’s primarily through texting and Facebook. With Boomers” and some Gen Xers, it’s still email. ”Lap-versation” doesn’t imply there is less communication. On the contrary, there is more. It’s just brief and to the point. If your kids are between the ages of 12 and 25 you have seen this. They are in constant touch with each other. That’s why you need an unlimited texting plan, right?

So what does this mean to leaders who are now interacting with and trying to influence Gen X and Gen y? The “lap-versation” generation demands that leaders become even more adept at all things electronic. They expect to hear from you - directly - and immediately. You can call an all hands meeting and give a great talk (as you must) on the state of the organization, but some will secretly feel it’s a big waste of time. Why not just send out a quick text and let them get back to work?

The fact is that most of us are changing our communication habits - so this advice isn’t just about reaching younger generations of workers. This morning as I write the blog, my husband and I are having our own “lap-versation.” He’s across the room checking his usual sites and blogs on our wireless internet. No longer tethered to separate home offices we commune in the same space, occassionally reading the morning headlines to each other. We used to sit on the couch and read the newspaper. That is so - yesterday. Why read one when you can get them all on line? And if we want to share an article, we can e-mail it. Some spousal conversations that used to take place out loud - are now happening in Cyberspace.

Now, back to the Millennials. They believe in fast, efficient communication. Take my daughter. She’ll Facebook when she wants to make plans - go straighten her hair - and monitor the responses. It’s multi-tasking for 20 year olds. Spelling and punctuation are unimportant. 140 characters is a full message. Just get to the point. (What R we doing 2-night?)

As leaders we have to be better than we are at getting to the point and we absolutely must embrace the many channels of communication available to us today. The message needs to be clear and very, very timely. And it needs to arrive in a channel that your people are actually monitoring. If you think you need to communicate something today, it was probably yesterday. Rumors flying? You don’t have until Tuesday to respond, because people are already talking - digitally. They no longer have to hide in the bathroom to gossip. They can do it via computer. So you must reach them that way, too.

What about those boys having a “lap-versation” at Starbucks? They are the young guys you’ll be hiring in about 7 or 8 years. By then Facebook and texting may have gone the way of IM (instant messaging), which as far as I can tell is headed for the same fate as the 8-track cassette tape. You can be sure whatever it is will be faster, more efficient and still digital.