Developing Your Support System
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Whether you are just starting out, mid-to-late career or evaluating your next steps, you need a good support system. The members of your support system will help you progress in your career, find a new job when needed, assist in changing careers or in starting your own business. And if you are lucky – and smart – some will turn into long-term friends.

But how, in the crunch of other things to do, can you build or improve your support group?
    Start conscious steps now
    Begin with people you know
    Become a valued resource
    Stay in touch over time

Exercise 1:

First, let's do a classic exercise "Board of Directors". Pull out a sheet of paper and use it to map your own personal board. Most of us are familiar with BODs in corporations or associations - where they play a role in guiding the organization, strategic planning, development and ongoing management. Good ones make their organizations much more effective. And that is what you want.

So start thinking: who are the people who play important roles in your life? List the role and the person.

Do you have a Board Chair – someone who provides guidance and support and periodically 'kicks' you to be better? A parent usually plays this role when you are a child and some continue to do so later in life. A previous boss, a strong mentor, a respected advisor, or a spouse could be your Chairman. Go around your mental board table - what roles do you need filled: career advisor, financial expert, unfailing supporter, industry or technical expert, etiquette maven, 'big picture' thinker, religious advisor, whatever. And who currently fills those roles for you? If a role is empty, who might fill it?

Once you know who is on your BOD, start priming them - invite them concretely to help you with the role you have chosen for them, make it a reciprocal relationship, and don't forget to say thanks.

Yes, the first time I ever encountered this exercise I was unable to fill out much beyond 1-2 roles. And that isolation carries big dangers, both in career and health risks, with it. So if you have a small Board, you will need to grow it. And even a good BOD is only the beginning! Building a support system.

Whatever your age or career stage, it is not too late to improve your support system! One system groups these into Acquaintances, Allies, and Advocates.

Your goal is to increase the numbers of acquaintances and to move acquaintances up the ladder to allies and advocates. Allies help you with information, resources, and support your activities. Advocates do all that but also will tell the world what a terrific person you are and remind you of that too. Just remember, not all of these must be in the work world – family, friends, and such are still part of your supporters.

It is always possible to build your network when you are job-hunting; but it is nowhere near as effective in supporting your career goals and personal growth as doing this on a continuous basis. If you have much work experience, you probably know at least one person you never hear from and who never responds to your requests but then shows up for help when s/he needs a job – and you know you are not as helpful as you might be. As Harvey Mackay says: Dig your well before you are thirsty!

To improve your support system, you have to have a plan and take action. Plan steps include:
  • identify potential contacts
  • plan how you will stay in contact or re-connect with them
  • develop new connections
  • set up some way to organize and track your connections information

Exercise 2:

Who are your potential contacts?
  • make a list of all the people you know (yes, all!)
  • identify those who are in each category either using the categories above or some your prefer (co-worker, previous co-worker, whatever)

Most experts in job search suggest you should have 300-400 people on your list. If that seems ambitious, don't quit! Just start with all you can think of.

Then start the connection development process. Make a call or send an email. Start by contacting some number of people a day, maybe 3 or 4. Put it on your calendar or to-do list every day. Keep it brief, respect their time. Just say hi and ask for news. Send a link to an article you think might interest the person. Congratulate someone who has a new promotion or employer. Mention when you see the person in the news. Ask for information or help when you need it. Help them make connections using your connections. Or send a thank you note or a birthday card. There should be give and take, not a quid pro quo relationship. As the relationship grows, get together for coffee or a meal periodically. Take them to a DCWW function if it is relevant. And share your own news - tell them when you finish a big project or write an article or make it into the business press or are giving a speech that they could attend.

Developing new connections is actually easy. But most of us find it difficult to reach out. So if you do, remember that you are probably doing a favor to another person who is uncomfortable taking that first step too. Think of how much you appreciate it when you go to an event fearing you will not know many people and someone comes up and talks to you!

You can make new connections at work and learn about other functions in the process. Ask other employees to introduce you across work units, volunteer for a task force or project, seek out a mentor. And as you meet new folks, add them to your list and development plan as above. If you are self-employed you can still do this through your clients, your volunteer work, and your professional associations. Helping others meet their goals will help you achieve yours.

Being active in professional, business, and trade associations is another good way to develop your support group. When you meet people this way, you know you have some community of interest. So use that. Send follow-up notes to people you meet and tell them you enjoyed meeting them and would like to stay in contact. Then do so periodically. And when you need information for your own work, ask for their ideas or resources. Respond when they ask you for help. Offer to make a connection for them if you know someone else who can help.

Are you off to a trade show or convention? Ask the folks you work with if there is anything you can do for them at it. Don't just collect materials or business cards, take notes at sessions and send the highlights or critical information to your connections by email. And once you come back, don't dump all the stuff you gathered into your 'gotta get to it' dead pile. Mine it for information of use to your connections. Send 'let's connect' notes to the people whose business cards you gathered.

Keep It Going

People who practice this get good at it. They fit the time in around other things and soon are connecting with a large number of people on a regular ongoing basis. And when you hit a slow period at work or are looking for work, you can use it to step up the pace. Remember to schedule this regularly until it becomes a habit that you do without thinking. Give yourself 5-10 minutes per day for existing connections and 10-15 more to grow new ones and you could become the 'golden Rolodex' person you have read about.

Why Bother? What's In It for You?

You will have the information, assistance, and positive support you need to grow and develop and be happier. Executive search folks will call you - and so will job seekers. You may be asked to be a mentor or to run for office in your professional group. You will find it easier when you want to change jobs, change careers, or go out on your own in business. You will develop a reputation as someone who knows what is going on - which helps you achieve at work too. Good days will become even better when one of your connections sends a note that helps in your work or just reminds you how talented others think you are. And on those bad days we all hit, you will have positive folks available to give you a boost.